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[05 Aug 2004|12:23am] |
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well i havent written in this in a while but ya i have alot of feelings and i need to get them out somewere... well this summer has been fun, but at the same time horriable, i mean first off.. my brother left for boot camp which killed me because i d k we always did stuff together and he was the one i went to for advice and well hes not here for me.. .then i went and say my cousin today and i thought it would make me feel better but it made me feel worse cause i miss spending time with her but im not allowed to talk to her which is wicked awesome*sarcasim* and then with spencer like i mean i loved that kid i mean h e put me threw much shit and ya what i did wasnt very cool buttt he was just to late i didnt want to be with him then.. well i did but i knew that everytime we get back together he just leaves me after the other men are out of the picture so i didnt.. then there was shawn.. wow did that bring drama w ith kayla and erica they really need to grow up stop liein and just leave ppl alone when they dont want to be bothered..... then there is my "girl" friends i dont really have any.. they only seem to come around if a guy is involved in my plan.... i mean i have like 2 who dont care if the male is involved... and thats cool.... then there is pete.. i d k whats up he just makes me sooo amd sometimes cause its like i d k........... just grrrrr I just want things back to normal.. I dont want my nanny to move to new york,,,, i want jess back here.. i want my brother back,,,, i want things to be good...
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[20 Jul 2004|09:55pm] |
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well latley ive been hanging out with pete matt and timmy, today is megans birthday... happy birthday megan... lol ummmmm well today i went to the mall wtih lauren that was fun then we went to dollar store saw jenn went and talked to shawn for a bit then went back then i went and hung out with jenn for a bit.... hmmmmmm over the weekend i slept at my cousins it was wicked fun.. hung out with shawn and nate to....... well ya hung out with megan kelly and emily threw this period to spencer hates me.. hmmm
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[11 Jul 2004|12:31pm] |
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well lets see me and kyle are officially over he is now with jerrica, im wicked mad cause he told me he didnt like her and he lied and stuff but thats what men do right... O well... anyway wenesday i went to joes, we just chilled it was fun.. then thursday Megan slept over Josh and Spencer came over we watched the butterfly effect.. and then friday just spencer came over... then saturday.. went shoppin with megan and her aunt then got fropped off around 1 pete came over.. then my cousin tracy dropped off lil david .... then me matt megan and pete went to the car show and then tooo see spider man 2.. it was alot of fun hanging out with them...
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[05 Jul 2004|10:19am] |
oh oh, oh oh, So much for my happy ending,
oh oh, oh oh, So much for my happy ending,
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?
Don't leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
CHORUS:
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, so much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh
You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
(they say)
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
(so are they)
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do
(all the shit that you do)
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
[CHORUS]
It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done
He was everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
All of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, so much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, so much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh
oh oh,...
My happy ending by avril lavigne
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[05 Jul 2004|02:25am] |
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Well alrite alot of shit has got me thinkin.. Well first off i talked to kyle... like onnnn saturday night i told him 2 call me sunday BEFORE the race with his answer on us but of course he coudlnt do that bet hell have some excuse like he woke up late cause he was on the phone late and didnt have time.. Not that he didnt have a four hour ride.. soo hell prob then say oo i didnt want to wake you up when i told him to the truth is he wanted to make sure i got the answer after the race.. so he could probably see how stuff went with JERRICA, hmm who knows maybe they even hooked up... for all i know they could be gettin married.. j/k bout that part i hope... Then latley like 3 people have told me how im a good person and etc and so much good will come to me why doenst it seem to .... Everyone that i ask thinks that i should forget bout kyle.. My dear friehnd Mike Ireland does and hes usually on the nose bout this shit so maybe ill listen this time who knows..... I dont know i really care about kyle but i dont kno i know he doesnt feel the same way for me, i think he wants more of a physical realtionship i guess i d k........ its shitty, Then there is this kid, hes a really nice kid, good, and nice to everyone, welll tat i see him around, but he really made me think, he said stuff that got my mind thinkin, hes like u kno why i like you..... "cause the way u act around me" and i asked what he meant by that and he said " like no one can hurt u" no ones ever pointed out the way i act for the reason they like me wierd shit.. i bet kyle doenst know the first thing about how i act.. i dont things are confusin.. I love kyle, but he doesnt love me, shit is really buggin me
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[03 Jul 2004|11:15am] |
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I think me and kyle are just on a "break" that could be permanet.... he promised not to do anything with other girls and stuff and that he just needed time to think... so umm we will see.. He says that hes not mature enough for a realtionship with someone who really cares about him and stuff like that well idk.....well c
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[02 Jul 2004|09:39pm] |
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well megan slept over and i couldnt sleep cause shit was on my mind... so we stayed up till like 5.... I ended up fallin asleep on the floor then ended up in the bed later on.... cause i hate sleepin near a window during the thunder and lighting... then we slept till 11 went to megans went online then went to the store for bread went back to megans ..well today was mine kyles one mnth he came over we were suppose to go out for our one month but then we ended up breakin up sick shit... well i guess he told my friend darrell that he only wanted a break for two days if thats the deal he has motorcross race sunday that he didnt want me to go to thats in two days so i think he has a girl up there knowin me i am week and will go back but ima try not to i mean i let go of spencer and im doing fine right i mean when i was iwht kyle i didnt think of him and wasnt missin him so just need time just need to stay stong.. shit is so hard cause i really liked him..... i d k men are so unpredicatalbe everything was fine but i dont kno what to do i dont know what i will do but we will only see in time for all i kno he might not want me back right.....
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[01 Jul 2004|11:02pm] |
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Okay well today... Starters I woke up at 10 and got in the shower cause i thought me and kyle were hanging out becky woke up bout 11 i had her leave at like 12 cause i thought me and kyle were hanging out... then i got a hold of him about 1 and then he almost cancelled on me to go to matts or somethin well he wanted me to go with him at first but i was like no cause me and matt werent friends at the time but now we are so its all good with that... then kyle came here till 7:30 we got megan about 5:30 shes here now shes spending the night.. I wanted to go to motorcross with kyle but umm " i cant go" i feel its cause of the girls up there but he swears is not but o well whatever works i guess i dont care im so jealous and its not good or healthy i mean i should trust him right but then why wouldnt he want me to go??? i dont understand men.. I think hes embaressed of me i suck... I wish i could be better be sutten special.... wow.. hmmmmmm o well i guess ill get over it with time.. but not only that but he has been actin really wierd latly not like his normal first self... True colors perveal or what i dont kno i love him and i hope shit doesnt get fucked up cause that would suck and then i d k what i would do....
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[01 Jul 2004|01:21pm] |
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That is suppose to say THANK"S" Danielle not Thank.... lol
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[01 Jul 2004|12:58pm] |
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Well yesterday i had to work till 8 then we went and got becky cause she spent the night.. We imed ppl and were being gay Then me and matt i guess dont like each other but whatever... i d k guess thats my fault along with everything else me and kyle had plans but its like 1 and he hasnt even called so i d k wahts up....?? Danielle made my thing o so sexy.. THANK DANIELLE
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[29 Jun 2004|11:53am] |
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Well yesterday, i hunh out with kyle awww i love him so much, he makes me so happy, our one month is this friday... yay.... i got my nails done and went out to eat with my pops yesterday also... My mom wasnt in the best mood... but hmmm whats new... lets seee i have to work today o yay!! hmm mike doesnt work today i dont think ill live... hmm i wanted kyle to stop by and see me but hes a bum and prob wont.. hmmm ill give him a hint... hmm i went to jessicas.. we exchanged clothes cause shes moving... shitters.. everyone is leavin....
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[28 Jun 2004|10:17am] |
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Well yesterday i went to beckys for a little bit... we umm ate and then went on the computer then mark walked me to putnam supermarket and then matt rahall drove by and then he gave me a ride to my house which i thought was nice ...Erica was suppose to sleep over buttt she got in trouble.. pretty cool.. but today im going to kyles sooo its all good.... :) i love him
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[26 Jun 2004|09:38pm] |
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Well friday i worked and saturday but saturday i saw harry potter with mike and michelle...... ummm havent talked to kyle in a while hes in maine :'(
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[24 Jun 2004|06:07pm] |
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Well thursday we picked D'ambrah up around 12:30 and then we went and we bout a new car adn then Josh and Jeffery stopped by then Jeffery wanted to hook up with D'Ambrah which i thought was funny..........cause well just who it is in general... but ya anyway then emily called and she came over we tried dyin her hair but it wouldnt work .. we blew a fuse blow drying her hair though.. that was fun ummm then she left at nine and kyle came over about 8:30 we got movies and watched them... Kyle left bout 11:30.. Me and Dambrah woke up at 11 the next day to emily callin us and then we went to the beach till 3 then just chilled till 5:30 and thats about it.....
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[22 Jun 2004|10:30pm] |
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wow today fun day after kyle left me and brad were talking umm we got in a fight cause of sara i dont kno here to the point were i had a conversation with her but i didnt have a problem but shes really startin to bug me...
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[22 Jun 2004|08:46pm] |
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Well lets see today i woke up and ummmm ate and then cleaned and then showered and got dressed then kyle came over he left around 3 and came back around 4 or so and then left around 8:30 and ya that was all that happened today i dont get to see him till like monday kinda shitty but o well.... I love him.. i didnt want him to leave tonight cause i wont be able to see him in so long but he had to
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[21 Jun 2004|11:05pm] |
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well today at work was umm fun haha... Mike house helped me out alot hes a really nice kid.. and he bagged for me and was like my hero .. storm was helpful to alicia bought me lunch supper thing cause shes cool.. and nice.. and u have to love her... ya umm sara stupid person decieded to talk bad about me pretty cool...i dislike her.. but shit happens this really mean ladey came in......... and she was like yellin and grumpy .. and stuff i wanted to yell at her...
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[21 Jun 2004|09:46am] |
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well lets see yesterday.. at like 9:30 Kyle came over then we went and picked up my brother and went to my nanys.. at my nanys we didnt do much but we went for a walk.. then at 2 i had to go to work till 8:30 then kyle came and picked me up and then when we got to my house we heard this really loud noise like a bird was in my house so i went to see what the noise was and when i found what it was it was a bat omg i was ready to cry there was a bat on my ironing board.. then kyle took a thingy and brought it outside..... then we watched tv and fell asleep awwww i love him... today my brother is leaving for boot camp at 3 and i have work at 4 but other than that not much is happinin today....
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[19 Jun 2004|09:37pm] |
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well today hmm it was okay i didnt do much i cleaned and hung out with my brother and lauren for a bit thennn my pastor and his wife came over for my brothers good bye thing.. they dont like me to much i mean they act nice and all but i can tell they think im too worldly but o well .....................soo i didnt have to stay long for that cause then i went to work.. just got home it was a slow night didnt make to much.. which sucks.. i wanna talk to kyle but ya i dont think hes home yet..
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[18 Jun 2004|09:49pm] |
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hey today was decent day .. i got to talk to kyle this mornin.. at like 5:30 then i went back to bed after that and i slept till 10:30 then my brother came in and woke me up... Then later on we (derek me lauren and chris D)went to that st. joes thing and i saw jeremy and pete and kris.. we diddnt stay long then we went to play pool in danielson and chris and derek bowled then we rented movies and i went to see my work scedual and i saw brad and kevin... ya that was my day o so fun
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